You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
