I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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