NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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