WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
