Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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