Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
