In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
