She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
