I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
