i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
