If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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