He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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