youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
