i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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