Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
