Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
