I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
