omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
