I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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