Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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