Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Can Purell be used as lube?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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