i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
