Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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