long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
