Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize