i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
