he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
