I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
