And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
