i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
