Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
