listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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