youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
