Is it because I queefed?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
