hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
