I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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