walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
As shirtless as possible
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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