whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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