so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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