I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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