I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I supernannyed him into submission
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
