More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
