i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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