did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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