I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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