he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
