don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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