***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what day is it and did you see me today?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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