I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
