His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
