The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
