My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's never too late to be topless.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The feeling are messing with the penis
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
