Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
