Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
